Lots of changes...

So many changes lately and so many to come.  Let me try to summarize the past year to catch you up.


2011
Feb - last chemo treatment
June - boys' 3rd birthday
August - Steven restarted nursing school
September - 1st cancerversary
October - last Herceptin infusion
November - my 29th birthday
December - Steven passed 3rd semester nursing and moves on to his last semester
 -best Christmas ever with the boys
January 2012 - Logan and I flew to Michigan for my grandmother's funeral
- approval of a very important surgery (more to come...)


While 2011 had many good days, it was a hard year.  Chemo recovery is not for the weak.  I still don't think I've found my "new normal" and I'm almost a year out. Fatigue is by far my biggest issue.  At least one day a week I crash and sleep a good chunk of the day.  If I'm not sleeping or resting, I'm thinking about it.  I can't keep up with my house and that's frustrating.  There are all these things I feel like I "should" be able to do and I just can't.  That's a hard thing to adjust to, especially as a young wife and mom.


Steven starting school back was a blessing, but also a very hard time.  The adjustment to him being gone so much is just not easy for any of us.  He is tired and stressed, naturally.  By the grace of God, he will graduate in May with his RN.  This semester is still really tough so pray for him.  Satan definitely attacks him during testing.  That is by far his biggest struggle.


The boys are doing great.  They are most certainly living it up being 3-year-old boys.  They are both in school at the Chambliss Children's Home and doing great.  They are in separate classes across the hall from each other so they still get to see each other often and play in the gym or outside together. Oftentimes they start out in the same class together and the teachers will separate them after breakfast.  It makes Mommy leaving a lot easier on everyone.


Logan weighs 36lbs now and is Mr. Independent.  He is so strong, both physically and willed!  His mouth never quits talking and he is VERY protective of his brother.  He and Luke can fight all day long but don't you mess with Luke!


Luke weighs 42lbs and is wearing new "big boy" glasses.  I have a feeling we will be replacing them often!  He is sensitive and gentle most of the time, really just a big teddy bear like his daddy.  Luke is in weekly occupational and physical therapy for a few different things.  He has poor muscle tone and that affects so much.  His fine-motor skills are poor but consistently improving with therapy!  We firmly believe he has Inattentive ADHD, just like Steven.  He hasn't been officially diagnosed and can't be for a few more years but it's interesting to alter methods with him and watch him respond.  It is a constant challenge and especially frustrating for those who don't understand (me!), but we're aware and working on the patience part of it.


My "plans" for my next surgery sometimes feel like they're changing on a daily basis.  Initially, I was going to have a TRAM flap reconstruction, prophylactic mastectomy, and port removal this past December.  Well, in talking with the plastic surgeon, we decided it was not in my best interest to do the reconstruction at this point.  He is fearful that because of my weight, the results may not be as good.  I agree with his decision.  So, that leads to losing weight!  Problem is, I've never had any success at that and now my post-chemo body is especially fighting back.  Enter discussions about weight loss surgery.  After lots of doctor appointments, talks with Steven, and prayer, we decided to pursue the gastric sleeve surgery for me.  After fighting with insurance for about 6 weeks, it is now approved and scheduled for Feb. 13! I'm sure many people will want to know why.  Why such a drastic procedure after everything you've gone through?  The answer is exactly that.  I have been through SO much.  All that I desperately desire is to be healthy again.  This means physically & emotionally.  By losing the weight I will reduce my risk of cancer reoccurrence, lower my blood pressure, and greatly reduce my issues from PCOS that I have.  I want to be able to play with the boys, run, jump, climb, and wrestle on the floor.  I want to be around to see them graduate high school and beyond.  This is not just about a weight thing.  It is about hitting the reset button on my life.  This is about changing the way our family thinks about food.  This is to protect the boys from future obesity.  Health.  That's what this is about.


Gastric Sleeve Procedure 


What do I need from you?  Prayer.  Support.  Encouragement.  I cannot do this alone.  What I don't need are enablers, discouragers, drama, and gossip.  Do I want to hear the story about your uncle's cousin who had failed surgery?  Frankly, no.  I've done my research and am not going back.  Steven and I treasure those who will come alongside us and support our family through more life changes.  Ever since we had the boys, Steven and I joke that Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the theme song for our lives.  


The Great Adventure
"Saddle up your horses we've got a trail to blaze
Through the wild blue yonder of God's amazing grace
Let's follow our leader into the glorious unknown
This is a life like no other - this is The Great Adventure"